It Is Safe To Feel Unsafe
Prefer to listen instead of read? Check out this episode of the Sovereign Heart Podcast for an episode on the same topic.
It is safe to feel uncertain.
It is safe to not know.
It is safe to stare into the void & still take a step forward.
It is safe to feel unsafe.
And here’s how I know this for certain:
Picture this...
At 4 years old I covered my ears when the news was on TV... I didn't like the way I felt inside when I heard these people talk.
Hmmmm.... go figure.
I would lip sync the word 'watermelon' to make it look like I was singing at church & played a game of counting my yawns instead of listening to someone in an establishment that never felt quite... right to me.
In grade school I was in the nurses office 2-3 times a week with debilitating headaches, stomach aches, & nausea that would only happen between school hours.
Hospitals always had this... 'sense' about them that also didn't sit right with me.
All of this even before my teenage years... it's just how I was. I didn't have any evidence, fact, nothing at all that would tell me my intuition was right or that my feelings were valid.
So I was the odd one out, the sensitive one, the one that was always late & had 'no respect' for the system.
I rejected media, church, school, medical; theses systems designed to keep me informed & safe... simply because they often didn't help me feel safe, loved, or like I belonged to them.
For a long while there, I numbed out because I just couldn't accept that reality but didn't know what else to choose... I got so used to feeling unsafe in these establishments that it just became the norm.
When I finally realized that it is safe to feel unsafe... I stopped trying to integrate with these systems, and plugged into the kind of safety that is deeper than systems, deeper than life and death, even deeper than what my mind can consciously perceive.
It was a journey & a process, for sure. But SUCH a relief.
Since then I've known that the best media network to listen to is my wolf-level keen intuition.
The best education is what I learn in the school of life.
The best religion a devotion to simply noticing the miracle of being alive.
The best medicine? Listening to my body with a kind ear & a compassionate touch.
So now as the systems that many of us have come to know & trust are crumbling before our eyes... all of the secrets, corruption, lies, & manipulation are coming to the surface from their comfortable dark corners and into the light of day.
And I have just been dumbfounded... sitting here watching in total awe, devastation & grief for humanity... but awe nonetheless.
I thought I was just destined to always be the weirdo who instinctively knew more than I should, and could only ever share fragments of that with the world as to not overwhelm people or lose those I love.
But now I finally get it.
I was given the gift of feeling unsafe in the 'systems that were' so that I could learn to feel safe no matter what.
So that as the systems inevitably crumble, I can be here holding humanity in my heart without losing a beat.
Holding all of us, holding you my love... as we become aware of deepening layers of uncertainty and quickly losing trust in much of what was previously reliable, certain, and supportive.
So I say it again, and I say it with such reverence... it is safe to feel unsafe.
And it's all going to be okay.
I am simply here to be a humble pillar of the love that is stronger than all of it, a love that is actively and courageously shaping the new paradigm of systems that are interwoven and inextricable from love.
Naturally allowing everything that is not love to fall away be composted into fertile soils for new systems of love to be seeded and grown.
This is who I am and what I'm here to do on a personal, relational, communal, & spiritual level.
I'll talk politics with you too if you really want, but unless you're really, really ready to feel how unsafe these crumbling systems are, I wouldn't recommend.
Everything will reveal itself in due time.
Anyways, one step at a time... and the first & only step that matters right now is this:
It is safe to feel uncertain.
It is safe to not know.
It is safe to stare into the void & still take a step forward.
It is safe to feel unsafe.
It's all already okay. I love you. You are me, I am you, and all is well.
Loves loves loves infinitely,
~Michaela
