Loving Without Conditions… in a conditionally loving world.
The heart must grieve, to be reborn in a love without conditions.
Across cultures and in all subgroups, there is this word that I hear spoken and often used as an insult or a condemnation of sorts...Narcissist.
Of course NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and sociopaths are very real and out there, but the truth is? A large majority of those we want to condemn with the label are simply products of the waters we all swim in, that is the polluted waters of a very “me” centered and implicitly narcissistic in nature.
Yet it is so much easier for the human psyche to point out extreme examples of harm and say,
"Ah there is the harm, I see that this person is wrong. I see that I do not want that in my life and I see that it is causing harm to me or to the people I love."
However, there is often the inability to see that a similar example exists and is alive within the self on a more subtle level.
You see, narcissism is not just a disorder that some people in today's world are simply born with. No.
Implicit Narcissism is an epidemic that is plaguing our world.
So where does it come from?
My thoughts are that it stems from the following belief that is built into most cultures in our current age, that our worth is based entirely on the amount of money in our bank accounts, on the love that we get from our relationships, and on our personal, professional or social achievements.
This model is entirely backwards to the natural rhythms of life.
Think about it. Assuming you do not already, imagine you live in tribe, a small community, or village. One that is self sustaining and meeting it’s needs for food, water, mental emotional and physical wellness, connection, community, and more within the village itself. A place where when you are born, you are cared for for life… no questions asked, no conditions, no 'but only if you go and make something of yourself when you grow up will you continue to receive the love and care you need to thrive’.
What would then be true?
There would not be a question of worth. This concept of worth may not even exist.
Your worthiness to the community, to the whole, is simply inherent to your birth.
When resources, care, love, connection are inherent and available to you from the moment you are born there is no question of IF you are worthy of receiving those things. IF your actions will decide whether or not you are able to receive them. Or IF you will be able to continue receiving these things for the foreseeable future.
So, as we navigate today's world where we as individuals are expected to create, provide, and prove our worth to be able to receive the care, resources, and love that in the natural world are inherent to our birth, what happens?
There is a break in the psyche between the Truth of universal unconditional love that at the core we know to be true and the current reality that we are living in.
Here lies the breeding grounds for tactics of manipulation and control as resources suddenly feel limited, scarce, like there is not enough for everyone.
Sometimes these tactics are obvious in certain dynamics and sometimes it is so so subtle. You may not even notice it because it’s pre-programmed into our culture. That is why this is an epidemic. It is a plague of our times, a disease we have been spoon fed from the moment we can understand what love and care feels like.
Knowing this, where do we go from here?
The first thing that must happen is that the heart has to grieve.
The heart must grieve in this realization and in the acceptance of the knowing that the only love that has been readily available comes with condition.
That it is not love at all, but a barter for something else, whether it is time, consideration, money, affection, or otherwise.
The heart must grieve this whole experience of a conditional love, and it is only through this grieving that the conditional love can be broken down and turned into dust so that it can alchemize and a new kind of unconditional love can rise from the dust of what was.
This grieving process must happen in a container where you are creating a new paradigm where your worth is inherent, where your worth is not based on what you do, or on the love you get, or the money you make... but it is simply a fact of your birth to be worthy of receiving the love, care, & support that you need to THRIVE as a living being.
You can create this container with the power of your imagination, intention, and focus. You can paint a picture of what that might look or feel like and, like a character in a movie, step into that picture and let it move through you.
It is in this kind of container that the grieving process can come to completion. Through this process collectively we are birthing this new paradigm of living together in a truly unconditional love.
As you step deeper into what this feels like in your own body, it will be natural that your own patterns of manipulation and control, in yourself and in your relationships, will start to reveal themselves so that you can love, accept and communicate with them.
It is important to let these parts of you know you are not trying to change them. You are only wanting to love them and welcome them into the wholeness of your being.
It is however is possible that when they feel the unconditional love, they may actually want to change, but they are not required to. It is in this way that these parts will feel comfortable and safe enough to be seen. So that you can see how they are the ones choosing and playing out in your relationships, with your partners, with your business, with your life, with your co-workers friends, and your family. By witnessing how these parts are in control of your life, you have more sovereignty to choose where you want to choose from. And who in you is the guiding force that is helping to create this paradigm of unconditional love.
When you start choosing from the place in you that is already at your core connected to unconditional love, the parts of you that are choosing in conditional love will become like a child who you are learning to reparent into this new way of living and being. They may be defiant, they may be rebellious, they may never want to change. They may sabotage and they may want to tear down any chances at you living in a love that is unconditional in your life.
I want these parts of you to know that it's okay. That makes so much sense. It makes so much sense because I know that at the core these parts that want to manipulate, sabotage, and control are doing their job well!
They're doing their very best to protect the love that is so highly sought after and coveted in our world. They have been cultured and conditioned to know that the only way to protect love, care, resources and support is to manipulate and control.
As you move through the grieving process of your heart, and as you tap into deeper frequencies of unconditional love it is important that you remember that the frequency and the vibration of unconditional love is forever.
And also the frequency of conditional love is also forever. Knowing this can help you relax and allow both to exist. But know this, the conditional love can only exist from the larger expression of unconditional love. The only difference between the two is that unconditional love holds the conditional love in its arms and in its unconditional compassionate nature. The conditional love cannot hold and cannot fully understand the unconditional so as you remember that both frequencies are forever know that the conditional love was born out of the unconditional. Born from a simple desire to know something other than unconditional love and compassion forever.
This is part of our crisis and part of our birth into a paradigm of unconditional love. It is simply an experience to be alive on this earth and to be experiencing conditional love while also experiencing that it comes from the unconditional love that simply wanted to experience itself by experiencing what it is not. And by loving that so deeply that it sees and experiences it as itself as whole once again.
As you receive these words let it sink in. Let your body receive and feel what layers of truth are here for you now. Know you have received the medicine you need it in this moment that is connected to the highest truth and deepest good of your being. Remembering you are the sovereign creator of this experience of life thanking yourself for inquiring into your heart and receiving from the depths of your soul.
So it is. So it is. So it is. By the power of three so it is done.
Go and hear what you may hear and see what you may see and continue to receive the gifts of the unconditional love that you now and always have had access to. Let it burn you wide awake, and let it alchemize you into the dust from which the unconditionally loving being that you truly are can emerge.
Be well and enjoy all of the moments.
Bye for now!
With Unconditional Love,
~Michaela Rose Soleil
