Yup, let’s go there.

My experience of non-monogamy is not a lifelong orientation, it was a conscious choice I made when I realized that the paradigm I’d been handed for love & relationship was based on a model of domination and control interwoven in my consciousness by everything from the media to religion and beyond.

When I woke up to that reality I decided that I’d rather live in a paradigm of partnership, care, and collaboration that could reprogram my consciousness to a new deeper state of empathy and responsibility for myself, the lives of those I love, the lives of my close and wider community, and the lives of the human family I am a part of.

So, my politics are no different than my orientation.

I am for creating a paradigm of partnership instead of domination.

I am pro living breathing human beings.

I am for conflict resolution through words over weapons.

I am for every human on the planet receiving care and everything they need to thrive.

How do I practice my politics?

By breaking down domination-oriented ideals and narratives around sex, love, relationship, and community. This is where I pour my heart and soul everyday to work towards becoming an expert in my field so I can serve you to the best of my ability. I'm not perfect, and I always have more to learn, but this is my place of interest, skill, joy, and the top areas I could talk your ear off for hours about.

If you have found me and enjoy my work but think I should be ‘doing more’ or ‘speaking out’ about my opinions about on events happening in the world consider this:

I will only ever share anything I feel and know 100% in my gut to be true, in congruence, and useful to you.

That being said, I am not an expert on world politics, the minds of politicians, on war tactics, on activism efforts that will actually create peace (and are not just a diversion to true right action), or on the tactics of manipulation of the general population to fulfill unseen agendas by pinning good natured, caring, empathetic human beings against one another.

But I do know that all of these things come into play. So when there is a movement getting more attention in the media, I slow down and ask why. I ask what else is happening that I can’t see. I ask what else is being ignored in the midst of a heightened and highly publicized crisis. I sit with it. I feel it. I get curious about it.

So by all means do not expect me to ‘pick a side’, or tell you what to believe, or what you should care about, or what action to take. If that’s what you need to trust me in unsteady times, then please look elsewhere for someone that will tell you what to think and do and why. You won’t get that here.

As my dad would always say to me,

“I’ll show you how to think, not what to think, the rest is up to you.”

I stand by this wholeheartedly, and always encourage people (and myself!) when they are distraught or confused or enraged about the world to look within and to see where those feelings live inside their own hearts, bodies, & minds.

I will never tell you what to think, but I can encourage you to pause from time to time to stop listening out there and listen to what you know to be true from within.

Seriously… pause for a moment. Take a breath. And out. Okay good.

Maybe you can sense a wider perspective, more clarity, and a direction toward right action? Maybe nothing changed. Either way, keep breathing, it keeps us alive you know?

By ‘right’ action I actually mean nothing to do with right or wrong, and everything to do with what is in deep congruence with your sex, heart, and soul. Yes, even in politics, they all fucking matter!

Sometimes that action is an activist effort you feel deeply will help. Personally I am much more likely to 'think global, act local' and take action on something only when trusted friends or organizations can show me what I can do and what impact that will have. Again, far from the expert here and have learned my lesson about just following the next campaign that shows up in my messages or news feed. If you want to act globally though, go for it! Just do your research, ask questions, and most importantly trust that congruence.

Sometimes the action is creating art, writing, dancing, letting the movement move through you in the best way you know how. Sometimes it’s sharing what you see with a friend or with your larger community. Sometimes it's leading a prayer or a group meditation for peace. Or just pausing for a moment in both grief and gratitude at the dinner table. Sometimes it’s sitting there and breathing and rocking back and forth and letting that be enough.

Let’s try not perpetuate more domination and shame on how people in general ‘should’ act in the face of injustice, yeah?

What would be the partnership version of that? What would invite people to face harsh realities? What would invite you and those you love into that place, with feet on solid ground? To feel safe and yet brave enough to be willing to see what you see and to know what you know? To take the action, any action, that feels in congruence instead of prescribing a ‘right way to care’ for any given event, crisis, or industry for yourself or another?

Isn’t that funny, when we talk about the politics of caring, it feels a lot weirder to imagine there’s a wrong way to do that.

How would you respond if that person with your opposite opinion or stance was your partner, lover, or close friend? How would you respectfully disagree? How would both of you come to a deeper, richer, fuller understanding of life through that conversation?

Would you be able to see how similar you are, how soft you are on the inside, underneath it all?

The only war we are ever truly fighting is the one that is raging inside. Everything we see happening in the world is a reflection of that fight. That war will only ever end when the majority of the people on Earth have ended the war within themselves and are living, loving, acting, and caring from that place.

The question we really need to be asking right now is this…

What is the the storm that lives within you and how can you get to eye of that storm?

The place where everything is still, where there is pause and refuge, where all becomes clear, where the inspiration of the sun shines through, and the realness of it all sits with you so deeply that you can’t not know what’s next.

Bless the efforts for peace. Bless your prayers. Bless your tears. Bless every being on the planet with the right to live, to receive nourishment, to thrive. Bless the politicians and those beyond them with the grace to remember their hearts over their pockets. Bless the blood in your veins. Bless the existence of life on this sacred planet, for as long as we’re meant to live here, and well beyond that.

May you live in that calm place in your heart, underneath it all. Perhaps I’ll meet you there 💜

All the love,

~Michaela Rose Soleil

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